This post is very vulnerable, it's sharing a side of myself that I don't talk about often. If you're reading this, please come here with an open heart, mind and soul. ❤️
I have been practicing daily, hourly, even minute by minute Ho'oponopono and it has slowly been shifting and changing my life and the way I see myself and others.
If you're not familiar with Ho'oponopono, it is a Hawaiian prayer that repeats the following phrases:
Please forgive me
I love you
These words are on a constant loop in my mind while I'm driving, working and today, while I was taking a shower.
These last few months, I have gone through a lot of changes. We bought a house, we're planning a wedding, I started a new business and I am training someone to take over my daily to-dos and tasks at the store (it's like handing your baby over to a nanny for the first time, or at least what I think it would feel like, it's terrifying, it's scary and you're praying that she's going to keep your precious baby alive until you come home.) So let's just say, life has been a little more on the stressful side, and unfortunately, in the past when stressors sneak into my life and I feel like I no longer have control over everything, I turn to food. The one thing I can control.
Can you relate to this feeling?
So, over these past few months, I've packed on a few pounds. I'm not sure how much, because I don't weigh myself. I quit that unhealthy habit of waking up every morning hoping the scale would change in my favor when I realized how much it was affecting my daily mood and self talk. I highly recommend doing this yourself if you haven't already.
Anyways, so I've put on weight. (Not a phrase you want to say out loud or admit to the internet world) I can tell in the way my clothes fit and even in photos I see of myself. A couple weeks ago I had to literally talk myself into being a model for our weekly photoshoot at the store. Everything I tried on for the shoot wasn't working for me and I found myself in a negative spiral. Getting angry and upset at myself, my body and my poor choices over the past few months.
This morning, though, this morning I was done with the negative talk. I was done beating myself up for eating too much coconut ice cream lately, for not attending the gym as often as I would have liked and for choosing to veg out with a bag of chex mix in front of the T.V. waaaaay to often.
This morning, instead, I took a very long shower. I examined every inch of my body, washed it with soap and prayed Ho'oponopono over it.
I told my legs sorry for never being satisfied with them, for never being happy that they weren't as tight and as in shape as I'd like them to be.
I asked my arms to forgive me, to forgive the negative things I had been saying about them and for being upset on how much muscle tone I've lost.
I told my face, my eyes, my nose and my mouth thank you. Thank you for giving me such a beautiful pallet, eyes to see, a nose to smell, and a mouth to enjoy good food, and even better, kisses from my love.
And I told my entire body, inch by inch, that I loved it. Over and over again I poured over my body, appreciating, loving and admiring it in a new way I had never experienced before.
And then something happened when I got out of the shower. I looked in the mirror and saw an incredibly beautiful soul. So full of life, love and happiness. I stared in the mirror for awhile and just examined how incredibly beautiful she truly was. How incredibly beautiful I truly am.
I was in awe. How did I never see this before? Since then, I've been looking at myself in a whole new way. I'm not examining my body looking for the flaws, or speaking negatively about myself. Instead, I'm thanking my body for all that it allows me to do, for all that it provides for me and I am loving it each and every day. I am choosing to put whole, unprocessed food in it, not to lose weight, but to feel good and because it's what my body deserves. I'm going to the gym again because I want to remain strong and full of energy because it's what I deserve.
I'm not telling you negative thoughts are never going to sneak into my mind again, but when they do, I am equipped with the power of Ho'oponopono and now, so are you.
I want to challenge you. Take an extra long shower this week and praise your own body. You deserve to appreciate each and every beautiful thing about yourself. You have put your body and your mind through enough. You've beat yourself up more than you ever needed to. Now, my beautiful friend, now it's time for you to pour all your love over you and your amazing body. Thank it for all it allows you to do and will continue to allow you to do. You deserve to be happy and to truly see how incredibly beautiful you are.
I see you and all of your beauty, inside and out.
I love you,